I received a delightful surprise in the mail the other day, and it got me thinking about sex toys. Full disclosure: I’ve been using sex toys for about 25 years now, and I love them. I like using them when I’m alone, but I LOVE using them with my partner. They’re just part of our repertoire, some go-to items whenever we get into a little sexual rut. But I realize that not everyone is like me, and that some of my readers may be sex toy virgins or newbies. So here’s a rundown of the more common varieties.
- Lube. While technically not a toy, lube makes everything better. Lubrication, or lube, should be applied directly to a toy that’s going anywhere near your lady parts. Get a good water based lube, not those nasty petroleum based ones. In a pinch, human saliva works well as a lube.
- Vibrators. Vibrators vibrate (duh). They come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some are massagers that you can use on your shoulders or back and buy at Brookstone or Sears. Others are “bullets,” finger length vibrating bullets that can be used alone or inserted into silicone or rubber toys. The most common accessory for a bullet is the “rabbit.” The vibration makes the rabbit’s ears wiggle on your clitoris. Vibrators are used primarily for clitoral stimulation.
- Dildos. Dildos are artificial penises. Some have vibrators inside them, but not all do. They look like real and erect penises, and you use them accordingly.
- Multi Function Toys. These are devices that combine vibration with insertion and clitoral stimulation. There is usually a g-spot stimulator along with something for clitoral stimulation, and the whole thing vibrates. They’re one of my favorites!
- Other Insertion Devices. These are toys that are inserted into the vagina. One arrived on my doorstep the other day. It’s called the “Magic Banana.” It’s touted as a tool to improve muscle function in the vagina (decreased vaginal muscle function is common after having a baby) as well as a tool for ‘self exploration.’ It’s high on my list of “must try” sex toys, both for the pleasure I experienced while using it as well as the Magic Banana’s ability to improve muscle tone. You just insert it and do some kegel exercises and you’ll be good as new. Don’t be intimidated by its size; just use a little lube if you’re dry at first. One benefit to the Magic Banana is that it can be used to heal the cervix of emotional trauma. Many women hold past or present emotional or sexual trauma in the cervix, making it painful to the touch. Gently pulsing the Magic Banana on the cervix can help release the trauma. This isn’t on their website, but it’s my personal experience.
- A second insertion toy is another of my favorites: ben wa balls. These small jade balls, about the size of small marbles, fit up inside the vagina. You can wear them around and nobody will know what you’re up to. As you move around, they massage the inside of your vagina and feel really good. I like them because they get me aroused, but they’re not obvious and hubby isn’t intimidated by them.
- Enhancing cremes/gels/lotions. While also technically not toys, these delightful creations enhance a woman’s sexual satisfaction and ability to orgasm. They generally contain either L-Arginine (an amino acid) or some type of cayenne pepper. I know that sounds awful, but it’s just enough to create a pleasant tingling/warm sensation. My favorite, though, is the L-Arginine. I have no idea how it works, but stuff I has makes for some powerful orgasms, and makes it easier for me to orgasm during intercourse.
Whatever you try, be open to the experience, relax, and enjoy!