In both cases, unrealistic expectations have been placed on the offending parties. That in no way excuses their behavior, but perhaps we can revise our expectations a little.

In the case of priests, the Church insists they deny their sexual nature. That is just not possible for most people! Then they are constantly surrounded by men and boys; naturally their attention is drawn to what is in front of them on a regular basis. A simple solution would be to lift the ban on celibacy. This idea is even gaining popularity among Catholics, according to a recent survey. It’s an idea whose time has definitely come, IMHO.

Then there are the celebrities. People in the public eye, including actors and politicians, are no different in some ways than us regular folk. Some will cheat, others won’t.

But in another way, they are very different. They are in the limelight, surrounded by adoring fans. Being told how wonderful you are is a powerful aphrodisiac. If you don’t believe me, ask your partner to shower you with compliments for a couple of weeks and see how you feel. I think that if most of us were put in that environment, we might forget we were mere mortals too. Again, this is not intended to excuse their behavior.

Instead, I suggest that we take the noose of insistent monogamy off their necks. Some people are just not inclined to long term monogamy. If we weren’t so uptight about that as a culture, these people wouldn’t be making headlines. If they were honest about themselves to their partners, it wouldn’t be an issue at all.

Our societal rules are hundreds of years old and from a completely different era. I say it’s time to re-think and revise them. Let’s create realistic expectations. And while we’re at it, let’s focus on our own relationships and not worry about what other people are doing.

I counted eight different types of orgasms last week, then immediately thought of eight more.  Here goes:

1.  Multiple orgasms (my personal favorite):  Yes, these are real.  Not all women experience them, but those of us who do are grateful for them.  Some sex experts distinguish between multiple orgasms and pleasure aftershocks, but personally I think that’s splitting hairs.

2.  Pressure Orgasms.  These come from indirect stimulation and are the type of orgasm commonly experienced by young children. (Yes, you read that right.  Lots of kids have orgasms)   Pressure orgasms are created by rocking, squeezing your legs together, or otherwise putting pressure on the clitoris.  There’s no rubbing involved.

3.  Fantasy Orgasms.  Fantasy orgasms come from mental stimulation alone.  They’re not very common, but they can happen.  Usually this type of orgasm happens in combination with clitoral stimulation, either alone or with a partner.

4.  Sleep Orgasms.  Similar to fantasy orgasms, sleep orgasms occur with no physical stimulation.  They happen, obviously, while you’re sleeping.  When they happen to me the orgasm itself wakes me out of the sleep.  Sometimes I remember the dream that caused it, but not always.

5.  Ejaculatory Orgasms.  Women can ejaculate; it’s not just a myth.  And it’s not urine, although it does come from the urethra.  It’s a fluid called amrita, and it comes from the Skene’s glands, which are located on either side of the urethra.  It requires a combination of clitoral and g-spot stimulation to produce the amrita, and some practice to actually squirt.

6.  Tension Orgasms.  Also called peak orgasms, these are by far the most common.  Nearly all clitoral orgasms are tension orgasms.  They require direct stimulation while holding the muscles of your body tight.  People usually hold their breath just prior to and during a tension orgasm.

7.  Relaxation Orgasms.  Also called valley orgasms, these are the opposite of tension orgasms.  Relaxation orgasms occur when sex play continues long enough for your body to really relax deeply.  A relaxation orgasm rolls through you like the waves of the ocean away from shore.

8.  Full Body Orgasms.  I call these cosmic orgasms.  This is a Tantric orgasm that can occur with or without physical stimulation.  The best one I ever had was with a woman I didn’t know; we were both fully clothed, not touching, and participating in a workshop held by David Deida called the Yoga of Sex.  It uses the breath to reconnect you with your essence and reunite you with the universal consciousness that is a mind blowing orgasm.

I think the heart of humanity is in a retrograde phase at the moment.  So many people I’ve spoken to are exhibiting signs of being retrograde, it’s uncanny.  It can’t be a coincidence, and until someone comes up with a better theory, I’m saying we’re retrograde.  If this isn’t true for you, thank your lucky stars!

What are some symptoms of humanity in retrograde?  Everything slows down or stops.  It feels like you take one step forward and three steps backwards.  Your plans get thwarted at every turn, both personally and professionally.  You lack clarity and focus.  It’s difficult, sometimes impossible, to get motivated to do things that used to bring you great joy.  And if you’re trying to get tedious things done, forget about it because the procrastination will be relentless.  If you work for yourself, you might find that most of your clients leave at the same time.  You might also find that you can’t generate your usual enthusiasm for the work, even if it’s work that’s near and dear to your heart.

You may find yourself conflicted about a love relationship; certain one moment that it’s over and then madly in love with your partner again the next day.  It’s maddening feel so conflicted and unclear.  Chances are good that you’ve had a major blowout with your loved one in the past 3-6 months if you are in a retrograde phase.  You may have even decided to end a relationship.

If any of this is resonating as truth for you, take heart.  Remember, retrograde is an optical illusion.  We really are not moving backwards; we’re moving forward in a slow, steady way.  This is a perfect time for reflection.  Take a good look at the obstacles you’ve been encountering and discern their meaning.  What can you learn from this experience?  Have you noticed any attachments or qualities you might like to change?  Take the time now to rest, to reflect, and to review what’s been happening in your life.  What changes do you want to make?  Start planning them now, but don’t make any moves until after the first of the year.  Mars and Mercury are both due to go retrograde later this month, which will slow things down yet again.  Consider your plans to be in their incubation stage and wait to hatch them.  You can hatch them once Mars goes direct on March 10^th (for more on the Mars retrograde, http://www.astrologycom.com/marsret.html)

The good news is that once planets move direct again, their effects can be quite powerful.  I think that’s true for us as well.  Once we move out of this retrograde cycle and our clarity and motivation return, there will be no stopping us!