Romance Recovery » Miscellaneous

My Favorite Cheap Date Night Recipe

admin — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 07:05:06 +0000

This recipe is ridiculously easy and inexpensive, but looks impressive.

I call it Shrimp and Spinach a la Vodka

Ingredients:
1 box of pasta (I like penne or bowtie)
8-12 oz of spinach (you can substitute asparagus or another veggie)
1 lb shrimp, de-veined and raw (you can substitute cubed chicken or tofu if you don’t like shrimp)
1 jar of Italian pink vodka sauce (I like Newman’s Own)
1 tablespoon olive oil
salt, pepper and minced garlic to taste
Basil and/or parmesan cheese for garnish

Cook pasta according to directions.
As the pasta cooks, warm olive oil in a saute pan and add the shrimp. Cook for 2-3 minutes* on med-high, then add vodka sauce and spinach. Cook until the sauce is hot, spinach is slightly wilted and shrimp is cooked through (about 5-6 minutes).
Drain pasta and place in in a large bowl, adding sauce mixture on top. Toss and serve. Garnish as desired.

*chicken needs to be cooked longer, at least 6-8 minutes (depending on size) before adding sauce

Yummy and impressive! For best results, use large or extra large shrimp.

Let’s Talk About Trust

admin — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 17:46:06 +0000

I’ve just landed in Hawai’i after a week long drive from Massachusetts to California. My husband and I each drove our cars and shipped them to Hawaii from Oakland. It was a trip we’d planned for months, and then totally threw the plan book out the window as we moved closer to the end of the year. The northern route was out of the question because of a series of blizzards and the fact that many of the places we wanted to see were seasonal. Then the longer we waited, the less time we had available for the journey itself.
One of the things that delayed our trip was the fact that we weren’t sure when or whether our house would be rented. We’ve had weeks now of having to trust that it’s all unfolding, even though we haven’t yet seen evidence of this fact. So we were already in a place of being challenged to trust before we even started driving.
This physical journey invited a deeply emotional journey for me. It became the latest iteration of going deeper into trust despite the object of my trust being imperfect, and trusting his intentions rather than the fruits of his labors. In other words, going even deeper into unconditional trust.
The last time I wrote about unconditional trust, it was from a place of smug self-satisfaction. I felt fully able to relax into the Universe’s plans for me, and gracefully rode the waves of trust. I forgot for a moment that life is neither static nor linear, and lately I’ve found myself in another place of being challenged to trust.
Without getting into the gory details, one of my core wounds is about being able to trust that the people I love will be able to be there for me. I’ve done a lot of work to heal this, but like all core wounds, it runs deep and finds clever ways to come to the surface for healing.
And so it unfolded that during my cross country trip, I wanted my partner to take the lead in driving, but then I challenged and second-guessed his every move. It was maddening and frustrating for both of us. It’s not often that I find myself in the middle of an unhealthy dynamic and can’t shift it, but there it was, in my face every day.
I had this idea that I would be able to trust my partner when he became fully present and totally stepped into his masculine presence. In other words, when he became perfect, then I would trust him. There’s nothing unconditional about that! So last week I had the opportunity to practice trusting, or trying to trust, in the face of imperfection. I had to trust that even when he took a wrong turn, he wasn’t intentionally trying to mess with me. I had the opportunity to practice speaking my truth to get my needs me, and then I had the opportunity to see what it felt like when he still didn’t do what I wanted him to do, even though I had asked specifically. Again, it wasn’t intentional. He wasn’t thinking about how to make me feel bad. He just misunderstood my request (another opportunity to practice clear and open communication!).
This is a lesson still in progress. I trust it’ll unfold perfectly and that I’ll feel a whole lot better when I’m on the other side of it. But I wanted to post this to be transparent about the process we all undertake. It’s far from perfect, and often messy. I don’t know the answer right now, but I do know that if I keep asking the questions and questioning those fearful parts of my personality, the answer will come.

Just Do It

admin — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 19:15:20 +0000

I’ve been experiencing a lot of resistance lately, and have come up with a couple of solutions with a little help from my guides. One of the things they said was reassuring in a strange sort of way. They explained to one of my clients, and I knew the message was not just for her, that fear and resistance will never fully disappear. They get smaller, less frequent and easier to dispel the more we connect with our true essence, but they are an integral part of the human experience.

We think that if we’re experiencing resistance and fear that we must be on the wrong path. Not so, they said. Resistance and fear are part of the human experience of forgetting that we are divine. Every one of us suffers under a veil of forgetfulness, suffering under the illusion that we are only human. We are not only human; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. When we forget that, we experience resistance and fear. When we remember, the resistance and fear go away and we are once more in the flow, able to be productive and do our work in the world.

When noticing resistance, they suggested that we ask “What am I afraid of?” Resistance is a sign of fear, and the fear may be real or imagined. Sometimes the resistance is legitimate; it keeps us from doing something that isn’t aligned with our best and highest good. But more often, it’s because we’re afraid of our own magnificence. We have this mistaken idea that we’re not good enough, and if we did the thing we’re resisting, we’d have more proof of our magnificence. It’s hard to keep up the illusion of unworthiness when what you do is helping other people, or even just yourself, live better lives.

If the resistance is a sign of imagined fear, which is usually the case, it’s time to live the Nike mantra and “Just Do It.” This advice is good whether it’s in your work or personal life. Once you figure out what you’re afraid of, you can ask whether it’s really likely to happen. You can come up with alternative scenarios that are more positive, and you can strategize for the worst case scenario.

For example, perhaps your partner has become distant. You want to talk about it, but you’re afraid. When you ask yourself what you’re afraid of, the answer may be that you’re afraid your partner is having an affair. What if it’s not true? What if they’re overwhelmed at work, or worried about their job security? What if talking about it helped them work through their worries and brought the two of you closer?

Conversely, if they are having an affair, wouldn’t you rather know about it? It could be the kick in the pants you need to finally leave, or it could be the impetus to enter couples counseling. Either way, you’ll be better off having done something about it. Take my advice and Just Do It.

P.S. I took my own advice today after writing this blog and finally created a video series that I’ve been procrastinating about for nearly two months. I feel so much better! I’m relieved that it’s finished and excited to launch it. I just have a little editing to do, but stay tuned to see it in the next week!