How do you gauge your relationship? What metrics can you use to decide whether it’s worth trying to save? One of the most important gauges is this: when was the last time your partner made you laugh? Turns out, laughter is serious business.

In marriage studies, researchers have found that wives who think their husbands are funny almost always feel much more satisfied in their relationships that women who don’t feel that way.

Interestingly enough, in a study of 1200 people interacting on a college campus, only 10-20% of comments that were laughed at were even a little bit like a joke or a wisecrack. In other words, there was a lot more laughter than jokes. This suggests that the critical stimulus for laughter is the mere presence another person, not a joke.

There are lots of other reasons that laughter is a critical component to a positive relationship. Laughter reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, and strengthens the immune system. People who laugh a lot live longer, happier lives. Laughter releases endorphins, those “feel-good hormones”, which naturally make you feel good not just about yourself, but about the person you’re with.

Using laughter as a gauge, think back to the beginning of your relationship. Did your partner make you laugh a lot then? Or did you at least laugh together often? If the answer is yes, do you still laugh together often? If you do, pat yourself on the back, that’s a great sign! If your answer is now no, chances are you’re now looking for what’s wrong, instead of looking for what’s right. It’s time to look for what’s right again.